CPAP, Morning One

I haven't written in my blog for a LONG time. I didn't even go back and check how long it's been. Reflecting back on it, I think my sleep apnea had a lot to do with it. There came a point where I just couldn't be creative any more. Writing became a chore, not a joy. So I quit.

But today is that start of a new era for me. Yesterday, I got my new CPAP machine. It's supposed to help me with my sleep apnea. Two weeks ago, I did a sleep study that revealed I stop breathing an average of 24 times per hour (for at least 10 seconds). Some suffer much more than that to be sure, but that's a lot of time spent not breathing. And every time I stop, my body wakes up a little to get my throat opened up again. Not good. Anyway, I used the CPAP machine for the first time last night. I didn't wake up feeling super refreshed. To borrow a line from another sleep apnea sufferer I was reading about this week, my sleep debt is too great. But I hope that over the next few weeks, I'll get that debt paid off and become a new, more refreshed, energetic person again.

And I thought it would be interesting to blog through that. Today, I won't write much. Even these few paragraphs have been a chore. I know I used that word, "chore" already. I sat staring at the screen for 30 seconds trying to come up with a synonym that worked better. I gave up and just repeated myself. Anyway, it will be interesting to see if my writing improves and becomes joyful and effortless again. Or maybe I'm forever damaged by this deal. Time will tell.

Anyway, my reflection this morning is centered on grumpiness. I know that over the past year or so, I have been prone to spells of grumpiness, especially with my family. I'm hoping that being more rested will change that. But today, I'm still grumpy. I said this out loud this morning, "The CPAP machine may help me get more rested. But it ain't making my kids any smarter, that's for sure." Funny ~ but not very nice. Certainly not the person I want to be. I'll hope for a better morning tomorrow.

And that's the CPAP news from Browerville.

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